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As Usual I would start with a question!
People want something from you! Are you willing to give it?
Yes, People want something from you! Too many of us wouldn’t agree with this notation. They might say No! it’s not necessary, people don’t want anything from us. May be they just want to talk, interact or ask well-being of you?
But I am sure that every person you meet in any sort of interaction whether for official purpose, for getting any sort of work done from you or just having an casual talk/meet with you, for any discussion or suggestion regarding some task. Let it be unofficial and non-transactional, still they want something out of you! Something very important from you & most probably knowingly or unknowingly we aren’t willing to give it to them. Now you must be having some curiosity what’s that thing! Let me make it very clear it’s free but priceless in terms of that person.
So, What that Gift ?
It’s the gift of Attention! Yes, every person you interact with Ask for your attention! Nothing else but just a small span of Attention. Neither your money nor your material possessions, or any fancy thing! They ask for your span of attention for a while to feel they are important as human being, not just any other thing or an object.
What really Happens ?
On the other hand, While we are working in office or in public meeting or with a stranger, whenever somebody pops up for reasons or something, we feel uncomfortable like he might ask me a favour, my money or my cell phone or any of my objects, my help & right now I am in hurry I can’t give him my time. He might ask me to work for him, which is gonna rip me off with my additional burden & too many irrelevant, hesitant questions pop up in our mind.
So, what we do? We don’t even look at them, we didn’t even glance at them or don’t even look into their eyes. We just talk while we are working on PC or scrolling through texts or through mails, unimportant conversations, pictures in our Mobile. We imply -You are not important to me! We show that my chores & such petty things are more important than you, all I do is more valuable than the human being which is standing right in front of me! Isn’t it? This sort of act is totally against the religion of humanity. This very act is sort of humiliating & makes a damage on the self-esteem of the human being who is dealing with you for any reason.
You just imagine, how it feels when somebody does it to you, you might feel bad, disrespectful! but knowingly or unknowingly we are doing this with too many people who are dealing with us or who cross our paths every day by some means. In office, during travel, Café, lunch & Dinner. Remember “Do Not Choose For Others What You Do Not Choose For Yourself” make this as motto for all public relations.
Ya, I do agree some approach you or cross your path with some intention, to borrow something or favour, which you are not comfortable with or don’t wish to go away with. But all are not the same. May be 2-5 % out of 100 you are dealing with are of this kind. See, your this indirect strategy might work well for these 5 to 10% people but its indirectly disheartening the rest 90%. So, surely this isn’t a good way. For these 5 to 10 % people – you have to face them head on and say a strict no if you aren’t comfortable with what they are asking but welcome the other 90 % which God has sent in your life to have a good experience.
Let me share my personal experience .I worked in customer service function during which I had dealt with about 40-70 people very frequently. I dealt with lot of difficult customers with ease. Lot of difficult, errant & uncontrolled customer gave me a positive feedback even when I denied their request citing incomplete documentation, irrelevant demands but they left happy. Why? Because I gave them their gift, I Made Them Feel Important! I gave them a span of undivided attention, my ears were all theirs during that time. I kept my cell-phone away, eyes away from pc & talked few and necessary words with all enthusiasm & honesty. They felt like I am working in the interest of them, so they really appreciated Me for my dealing & behaviour towards them.
Then, you might ask, hey its very time consuming and we don’t have this much time. I am saying it just takes a Moment, moment means a span of 90 seconds. I guarantee most of the conversations or interactions doesn’t even long for this much time still you come with a positive energy, good feedback from people, rising their self-esteem & most importantly rising your self-esteem to much better level.
See, If you give most of the people your undivided span of attention, who knows some experience might change your day or Make your day altogether. It might give you a New view towards something or someone!
Every time you meet someone, do not disappoint them , give them they gift they deserve & looking for!
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Written by Mahendra Kapady@2018, All Rights Reserved