In continuation with my previous Blog which was directed towards the Students who are in beginning phase of their career.
Please refer to my previous Blog- https://1beginner.com/2018/06/01/what-i-want-to-be/
As discussed prior- this blog is entirely directed for the parents- if you are reading this its okay but don’t forget to forward it to your parents or try to pitch few points in front of them or forward it to the neighbor,elder, family friend who can talk to them on your behalf.
So, Elders Lets get Straight to the Point! Your kid must have passed his/her 10th, 12th, Graduation, Engineering now. Those parents whose kid have passed their 10th or 12th they must be haunted by 1 single question- What’s Next?
In aligned with my previous blog , I would be talking freely about knowing the passion, happiness ,inclination towards particular field, genuine interest for your Kid. My whole emphasis would be about re-inventing them & investing their further years in the Right Field. I am not here to advocate any degree such as Engineering, Doctorate or any particular qualification. No, Not at all. I am not at all qualified enough to discuss about that. I would explain my ideas in 10 simple points about direction & handling the situation with care about their career. I hope you would love it.
- Don’t Compare Your Kid with anybody – This is the very important thing you should understand at this Moment. You should accept their Score,their Choice & help them in the present situation to move forward. There is no point in digging the past. Don’t point your fingers at them by throwing examples of school topper or their cousin, or neighbor’s Son or your sister’s daughter etc. (Probably With the real scores in hand, they must have realized their mistakes now.) If its 61% & you were expecting 85 % & he/she disappointed you, that’s okay. You cant go in the past & change it. You cannot change that now at any cost.You have to support them to Move forward for a better Career & help them to correct the Mistakes. Accept them the way they are with the existing situation.
- Don’t Drag Your Kids– If they have scored well but you were expecting more. Accept the score they Got. If you feel that they were capable enough to score good but didn’t do it. Its Okay, anyhow you wont be able to change that. Make them aware (or scold them gently) about the mistakes once & close the topic of scolding. No more criticism. I have seen some parents bragging about the insufficient/low score of their kids for about 6-8 months. See, it doesn’t help at all. Make them aware once or twice but after that keep out the criticism. There is no point in talking about it over & over. stop Dragging your Kid multiple times over 1 happenstance, there is a high chance that due to repetitive bombardment they might lose the seriousness of your talk. Do not let that Happen.
- Communicate With Your Kid- Just sit for a while with your kid. take them to the park or restaurant for lunch or Dinner, don’t bring his brother or sister along. Just you(parents) & him. if he is more comfortable with any one of you, then its duty of that person to take the lead & communicate with Him. just talk freely with Him/her. if he has scored well ask what are his/her ambitions?What is on his Mind ? If he hasn’t scored well despite of his/her potential ask – what are his/her challenges? Is there any problem he is facing in his school, College, career or life. Is anybody bothering him or you guys(parents) are bothering Him by someway? May be the situation can be more alarming than just the scores.You got to talk to him/her , trust me you would discover something beautiful or totally unexpected you never imagined.
- Don’t Dump Your Dreams on Them– This is where most of the parents/Elders make mistake about. They say/feel I wished to be doctor but I couldn’t because of my financial condition now I want My Son/Daughter should become a Doctor (or Engineer). Don’t fixate your version of life on them.Every human being is different , their dream can be different. let them dream their Dreams, let them explore their Dreams, let them struggle to color their dreams. let them genuinely work/hassle for their Dreams. Let them live their Dreams. Don’t just kill their Dreams by dumping your dreams on them.
- Ask them “What do you Want to Be” – You got to ask them “What do you want ?” instead of “what you want them to be?” These 2 question can create a whole lot difference in their life & their happiness & their future. May be you want them to be Doctor just like you or Engineer just like your You/brother/husband or any particular Discipline. it Doesn’t matter what do you them to be but what do they really want to be? May be their Dream life or version of life is entirely different than yours.May be they want to pursue an Art or any unorganized sector.It could be entirely different than you are expecting from them ? So, ask them this question freely & see what do they really want to be? May be sometimes Kid are not aware about their career at their 15-20 , so guide them to pursue good education (in your view) but do not pressurize them to do so. If you do, you might get a Person/Human with the degree/qualification you want but you might lose your natural/beautiful Kid. He would a unwilling Qualified product of Educational Market.
- Accept the Life Beyond Engineering or Doctorate – Once you have asked your Kid “what do you want to Be? & I hope you have cleared the point no – 6 very patiently. Your kid hasn’t scored well or he/she has scored good marks but he/she couldn’t secure an admission in elite Engineering/doctorate college, okay. You can go with the second choice. even if second is not into your lap then go for the Third. Do not get stuck into the expectation of topmost institute & label of any particular College. Because in long term Its the quality of education absorbed that matters not the label/brand of your institute. If He/she couldn’t secure admission for doctorate that’s perfectly alright.Even though he couldn’t be Engineer or Doctor but He/she can definitely be a Good Human Being if you genuinely stand behind them. Don’t get stuck over Engineering or Doctorate or any other particular qualification. we live in a world of possibilities, I have read/seen/met hundreds of people who did quit their Engineering/Degree Education & created a Successful life out of their passion, over liking for something. A guy had a degree in engineering but chose a different path altogether out of his liking for cleanliness & made a 2 crore+ Turnover in Shoe Laundry business out of his Passion. if you don’t believe me Google Mr. Sandeep Gajakas. See, Its the willingness to do something & Attitude that really matters not the Qualification.
- Let them pursue the Hobbies – Even though I am saying lot about allowing them to do what do they want, help them pursue their passion but sometimes its not possible teenagers don’t know their inclination, liking,field of interest. not everyone discover their passion or love for something at their 15-17 or in 20s. It can take a while or long while(I was not really clear about what to do by 25, so I kept the Ball rolling & kept looking for my interest, love). So, currently they are pursuing the career what you had advised/offered them to do.In most cases, it happens that teenagers don’t know what they really have to do? So they pursue the Common or the Most popular choice through heard Mentality. Its not bad but don’t overburden them over study & scores. If they wish to pursue some hobby, let them do that. Teach them the Hobby-career- Life Balance.Its been observed that those who pursue their hobbies perform well in their education, remain happy & they manage their time for Education-Hobby-career very well & live a cheerful life. I was always good in sports, for some reasons (Anxiety, ADHD, ADD) my parents never pressurized me to study & score high marks. So, I played lot of cricket, table tennis, football in my college days. Table tennis was like an obsession. So, I was always happy & kept my Study-Hobby balance & scored very decently in my engineering days. Why ? because I was really happy. I was pursuing both things. (My mother never allowed me to play during my Exam days) but she never stopped me to pursue Hobbies in my 4 years of college.I am deeply thankful to Her.
- Help them to try their Hand – In continuation with the previous point – If they want to try their hand into something, let them try. I doesn’t meant to say gamble.If they are genuinely interested, really working on them, doing good & imminent about something. let them do so. You might feel they get distracted ,(ya there is a possibility of that) but you have to make them aware about the importance of education & allow them to try their provided they pursue the liking with proper balance. Who know they can discover the all new career out of this experiment or this can be inception of their dream career.
- Handle with care ! If your kid is Teenager, be a little bit cautious, kids especially teenagers are Delicate, because now,they are into some different mode of life. they feel that they are grown up, they wish to be independent, they feel the world is at their feet & nothing is impossible for them.You should care for them, let them explore the life with some freedom but at the time do not let them wander. Over-protection, over care can Suffocate them but over freedom can ruin them due to some bad association. If you pressurize them, suppress them over something or force them to do something there is a high possibility that they might get crushed or they might go Haywire if they do not wish to follow the life planned by you.
- Love them & Nurture Them, Help them To Create their Own Future! See, love your Kids. you as parent are 1000 times more wise than anybody else in the world but dont get carried away by the Demands of Society, the Heard Mentality or by the the social status Pressure. Don’t Plan the Perfect future for them , There is no full proof plan for the life, life is all about experiencing & exploring. Do not try to give them a Ready made Life. Try to make them Good beings , nurture them to become the Gentleman/Woman, human being of values & impeccable character. Instead of offering them the future of your ideas, help them Create their Own Future.
Thank you for Reading. If you find it useful please share whole heartily. It would be really wonderful if it reaches to Right People & help someone is someway.
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